You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
