i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
