I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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