How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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