it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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