Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
