Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
