Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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