She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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