Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
