Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
