i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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