is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
