i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
