My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
