I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
