12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
