i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
