he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
