I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
