May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
