So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
