Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
