We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize