he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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