I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
