they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
