He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
