College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
