You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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