He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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