well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
