i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
