You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you win again, gameday.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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