we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
