Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Randomize
