I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
