omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
