Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
