YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
