Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
