how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
