i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
