Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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