what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
