I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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