I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Small penises have feelings too.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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