I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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