Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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