It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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